Sunday, 23 October 2016

The Evolution

I was sitting somewhere inside the dense forest. I saw him coming at a distance. He was growing much faster than me. I saw his grey hairs as he neared. In these ten years he has grown from a young guy to and old man in his eighties. I remembered the first time I saw him. He was in a white shirt and maroon trousers. He didn't know to speak any languages and was naked. I recalled how disturbed I was. I wished to be never apart from her and have a wonderful love story. And her uncle destroyed it in a day. I felt the pain I never was able to kick out of my heart. Somewhere inside me I still loved her. But that didn't make any difference. Everything has changed in these years. I wished I could continue living from the day again when we were looking at each other in the school. But reversal of time was not possible. I felt the world around me vanishing in a brightness as he came closer. I was unable to see anything around me. And soon the witness begin to come down. Everything came back to vision Again. But it was not the same as before everything dissolved. I was in my school sitting in the corner of the common ground. I looked too young from now. I was alone thinking of her. It was almost a year since u saw her. I missed her so much. All I wanted to see her once before I die. I saw one of my classmates coming towards me. I felt his presence uncomfortable and wished he don't come to me and leave me with my thoughts.

Once again the brightness was up and everything around me dissolved in that. When it went back to normal I found myself somewhere on streets in the city along with some friends. Suddenly, a new person who knew one of my friend met and stat talking to his friend. He didn't even once saw towards me or told anything to me. But I found him annoying and felt his presence uncomfortable. One by one a lot of such instances from my life rolled out in front of my eyes. And when the last time brightness covered everything and the world came back I saw his smiling face in front of me. He was sitting on a stone near me. Before I could ask anything about what I just felt and seen when he was coming closer to me, he punched me with a question.
"Have you ever felt to be around someone even if there is no reason. And sometimes even if someone has not done any harm to you, may he have never met you, still his presence makes you feel uncomfortable. And you just want that they shouldn't be near you."
"Yes, I feel it many times. Is there something interesting about it?" I remembered the instances I hated to talk to someone for no reason.

"When you meet a person having common likes as you, doesn't it happen that you two spend a lot of time together. You just don't want your togetherness to end as you are enjoying every moment. If two scientists of same field meet they will continue to talk to for endless hours on their researches. But what if someone with no common backgrounds meet?" I remembered having awkward moments when I was sitting around with people in family and friends and I had nothing to say about. I just felt that how those meetings will end soon.
"Who is able to come closer to you? The people with same mindset or the people with different mindset.? "
" The ones having the thoughts same as us obviously" I said.
"Just like our mind, our souls have nature and characteristics too. Souls are form of energy that transmits waves continuously as per their nature and thoughts coming in our mind. If we are sitting somewhere with a set of our waves and someone come in the wave area with different kind of like wave we find it unacceptable and we feel uncomfortable with its presence. And when the waves match within acceptable parameters we are attracted towards the person. We want to spend time with them even if we never met. "

" If this is true, my waves match with every beautiful girl I see as every such girl attracts me or a lot of guys." I found the loophole in his theory.

He smiled and continued," There are there ways in which attraction emerge. Lowest among the three is attraction out of physical appearance. The attraction out of sight has the least life span as the physical beauty remains for a few decades. If the base of your attraction is the physical appearance what do you think will happen to your attraction once the beauty starts fading or in some accident beauty is lost?

Above this attraction exists the attraction emerging out of thoughts. You have seen a number of couples in which a partner doesn't match the good physical appearance that another posses still they attract each other. In this case the thoughts behavior and nature of the person and not the physical appearance is the base of the attraction. This attraction have a longer life span than the first. This attraction exists even if the physical beauty fades. But keep in mind that the thoughts and nature may be changed. And even if they don't change when a person die thoughts and behavior dies with him. So even if this is a slight longer it is also destined to end.

The third and the highest level of attraction is the one emerging at the soul. The first two types of attractions have an end and that gives a lot of pain, but the attraction through soul is eternal as the soul itself is. It doesn't fades, it doesn't die. It finds new bodies and continue to flourish forever. What the person says, what he think of you, how he behaves doesn't change your feelings at this stage. The change in appearance and nature and thoughts of the person in front don't change the attraction you have at this level. The attraction at this level becomes pure and divine and then it is called love. We mistake the first and second level as love.. but it's only the third level that is known as Love. Everything apart from it is attraction and attractions have and end. Love doesn't.
I think you are clear with the attraction that you had when you see beautiful girls and the distraction that you felt at the corner of the common ground of the school."
"Yes, "I was surprised at the explanation. This is what can be called the law of attractions. I started thinking at what level I was thinking of her.....

"When two people in this world participate in intimate relationships, a lot of souls engage in the race to find their way to get a body to born again and continue their journey in this world. But only one of them gets the chance. Now that you know a soul gets more closer to those having same thoughts emerging out of another, this gives the principal that more similar the thoughts more closer the souls will come. And in the race the nearest soul is going to get a chance to enter in the body of the baby to be born.  Which soul do you think will get the chance?"
"The one having nature closer to the thoughts of the two people involved in intimation. If the two have different thoughts going on in mind.. the more powerful thought among them would prevail."
"Exactly! And the nature of child to be born depends a lot on the nature of soul entering his body. And the nature of the soul depends on the thoughts of the parents. If the child does wrong things the parents gets disappointed over them. They think it is the child's mistake. But they never realised this nature emerged out of his own thoughts. This is why sometimes an scholar's son turns out to be thief and thief's son turn out to be honest. It doesn't what a person do that makes difference. The difference is made by what we think. What do u think will be the future of a child born while the couple was full of lust and joy, when they are drunk, or someone planning to kill someone at that time, or to a business deal, or thinking of betrayal and cheating the another partner involved therein and such endless thoughts?. "
" Souls filled with These bad qualities will enter our world and make it a hell to live"
"Don't you think this is already started. What else do you think is the reason of this corrupting society. There is a increase in crime rates every year. The cases of corruption and betrayal is increasing day after day. The number of bad souls is rising continuously. We think they are bad. But the badness has evolved somewhere within our mind and thoughts. We think badness is there in the  world and they think those courts and police could find out bad people and end the evil out in this world. But the evil is not there. Evil is within us our mind. And this is the story of the Evolution of this era that we name as Kaliyuga. Do you feel the power of the mind that everyone in this world has got. How better this could have been used and where we are moving. No god, no bad people, no evil souls are responsible for this dark period we are living. Only our mind and thoughts emerging out of it is the sole reason of the Evolution of the Kaliyuga. " I felt like being in another world when he ended. The theory of Evolution had shaken me from inside.
"What is the way out then?" I asked him.
"The situation will go worse as the time elapses. I am the past of this universe. You are its future. You have to find out the way out." He put his hand on my shoulder looked in my eyes and smiled. And I saw the brightness started dissolving in it the world around me. It signalled the conversation has ended. My eyes got closed by the increasing whiteness around me.I covered my eyes with my palm and opened it. I was in my bed and it was eleven of that day.

Monday, 10 October 2016

Chapter 3 : The Journey Begins

I stood beside a big tree at the corner. It was a big dense forest. I could see a few rays coming through the edges of the forest that indicated there was something that exhibited light so powerful that some rays of it managed to pass through the dense woods. I saw a person moving ahead into the woods at a distance. He didn't wear any clothes. He had a thin frame with fewer hairs on the body. He had long hairs like they were never been combed or dresses. He was moving fast. He had his back towards me. I called out to to stop him and to ask who he was and where he was going. But he moved ahead ignoring my voice like he didn't hear it. His footsteps got faster. He moved left where there was a tree having fruits. I saw the mangoes. I felt I was hungry. I tried to move towards the tree but I was not able to take a single step. I tried hard and started sweating but I failed. With all my energy I was not able to take a single step. I looked towards the person. He had reached the tree. He plucked a mango and started eating it. Still I can't see his face.  As he started eating my hunger went down. I didn't know what was happening. How could that be possible? I was out of hunger by the time he finished the third fruit. I was puzzled trying to figure out the thing happening around me. He started moving ahead when I was struck with the idea that in a few hours the hunger will return and I don't know there will be something to eat at that time around me. I had to arrange for the time when I need t eat again. I was thinking as I was in his place. The hunger I felt was his. I was feeling his thoughts. How that was possible? I wanted to see his face. He didn't turn towards me for a single second since I saw him. I made another effort to run towards him. He was back to the tree getting some more fruits to carry in his journey. I ran towards him to find out who he was? I breathed heavily. I was tired in just two three steps. But I had to see his face. I saw a branch of the tree falling on his shoulder. I shouted to bring his attention. But he didn't hear. The branch struck his shoulder and I felt the pain on my shoulder like it stroked me. I fell on the ground. He stood as if nothing happened. He moved ahead carrying the fruits as I saw him going out of my sight.
I felt the pain on my left shoulder. I was lying in my room when my eyes opened. It was eight thirty of that day. This was the time when all our family members gathered at a place to have dinner. I wanted to go and join them when I realized what had happened today. They must be discussing about me. I didn't know what happened after my father came there. Everyone would have come to know by now. How could I face them at the dining table? I decided to remain in my room. I was feeling weak. I needed some to eat. But I couldn't go out. Can't this day be a bad dream I am seeing. I decided to sleep again in the hope that I will be awake with a different reality than this. One by one images of the day just passed start coming in my mind. I struggled to keep them out and sleep in peace but found it hard. The more I thought the more it pained. It was ten of that night and I was still awake. The sound of my door gave the idea that someone was entering my room. My heart beat got faster in fear for what had to come. It was my father. He came near me.
"How are you feeling now?" He asked. I could see the hateful look coming out of his eyes. Nothing happened today felt bad than this.
"I am good." I answered. I didn't have the gut to look into his eyes. 
"Are you hungry? You need something to eat?" I shook my head with my eyes fixed to the bed. We both remained silent for a few moments and then he went out shutting the door. Once again I went through the memories of the day just passed in a hope to get rid of them and sleep in happiness like I used to sleep before that day.
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It was evening of the next day when mom entered with a plate and a glass of water. I could sense the mix of anger and hate in the way of serving. I didn't know whether there something really like breaking of heart or pain in the heart exists or not. But somewhere inside me I felt like crying. To cry out louder to show them all that there were not the only one who got hurt. I was trying to get out of the memories of the day. And when I felt I was helpless I cried. I didn't know how much time I spent in tears. The sound of bangles disturbed my thoughts as mom put the plate on my bed. I started in her eyes to find out some sympathy towards me but I failed. My stomach had ached and relaxed four times out of hunger until then. I started eating with guilt in my mind. I knew I had done wrong. Everyone hates you if you do wrong. Isn't it the duty of our family to hold us strong in the bad situations? If they were also meant to be with us only in good times what's the difference between them and others. Why the concept of family was there then? But you cannot judge others when you yourself are guilty of doing wrong. There was no one around me to whom I could share what I felt. It was me and my mind. My mind cannot get out of what had happened for a single second and that made me more and more depressed. I finished the meal and put the plate under the bed. Once again I was in my bed to fight, argue, justify and apologize for what had happened. I had to ask questions. I had to answer. I had to console me for being strong. I had to take care of me. I had to help myself that everything will be okay when I was crying. I didn't know what I have to do.
My father came into my room while I was once again in tears sick of consoling myself over what had happened. I wiped off my tears and sit on the bed. He asked me to join the rest of family members for dinner. I denied. I didn't have the strength to face them. I had always been praised wherever I sat with elders. How I would have sit with them while they have a bad image of me in their mind and looking towards me with those hateful eyes. No I couldn't go. I denied. Father sensed my hesitation. He said, "one day you have to face them all. How long you could escape from them." I understood that what he was saying was right. I knew what I had done would give me hate for the rest of life. But I didn't know how to accept this reality. I knew at that moment I couldn't do that.
"I am not hungry. I will come when I need to eat." I didn't have anything better to say. My father knew what I was saying and what I was telling. He moved towards dining room. I burst out into tears before I reached my bed. Something inside me pained. I didn't know whether it was heart, mind or something else. But I just felt why this all happened? There were a lot of people who loved. There were people cheating others in love. There are people who hate and kill others. The people are doing wrong and living normally. I loved and got punished. Why this happened to me? There was no one who could answer me. I spent next two days just like the earlier, in depression thinking about the only thing and crying over my fate when I got tired of thinking.
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On the fifth day my father permitted me to go to school. I didn't know what happened outside my room in those four days. I was busy within me. I asked to go for school the second day but father stopped me. My father came with me when I entered the school. All of them were looking at my face like I was an alien. I felt uncomfortable with those eyes looking at me. We went to principal's chamber. I saw teachers talking seeing at us as we crossed the teacher's room. My father's head came down as we passed through them to enter the principal's room. The thing somewhere inside my body pained again. It was not actually a pain. It just felt like the breath that I was taking is not reaching that unidentifiable part of body and it became uncomfortable. I hated that feeling. In a matter of seconds it gets the mind crazy. I felt pity on me to bring the situation when my father had to put down his head because of me. The principal told me to go to my class and indulged in a conversation with my father. I faced that strange looks once again when I walked in the corridor to reach my classroom. I saw the friend of her coming at a distance from my front. Behind her there was the beautiful face. The feeling of the breath not reaching a part of the body came back. As we came closer my heart started beating faster. But this time the reason was fear. I didn't know why the accident with her uncle started coming into my eyes and I felt extremely uncomfortable. She already saw me from the distance. As we neared she didn't even looked once towards me. The something inside me pained getting me uncomfortable. The heart beats got faster. I breathed heavily. Everything started getting back to normal once we crossed each other. I turned once to see whether she looks towards me. But nothing so happened. It may be possible that she didn't love me and told herself about me to her uncle. Or why she would behave like this to me. She knew what happened to me with his uncle. She could have told me directly if she didn't love me. What was the need of taking the things to this worse level? I felt more bad realizing I loosed her too along with those I was suffering already. I felt like crying over me. I didn't talk to anyone the whole day in my class. I sat on the first bench that remained vacant in normal. I was lost in the memories since the day we met. The beautiful conversations we had. The beautiful smiles I used to see. The "do you have anything else to say?" statements said by her. She never told me that she loved me. She may have used those statements in normal conversations that I forcibly connected with the expectations of asking to propose her. It was my mistake. But my mistake was so big to be punished like this? I missed the beautiful smile she used to pass. The brightness of those glorious eyes. The thing that happened was too tough to carry throughout the life.
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There exists a supreme soul, dissolving in whom our individual soul is the sole purpose of our entire human life. This is the ultimate aim of all our doings. We get a body to help the soul to achieve its ultimate goal. And until we take our individual soul to the level at which it can become unanimous with the supreme soul we die and born again on this earth. - I started Reading a book that has been kept in my room for years. I was feeling so bad for the way she ignored when we met. I felt like losing all my strength to fight with this adverse situation. When I came in my room, I knew I will start thinking once again the same things and there is nothing there I can get with this. So, to engage myself I just started reading the book which I never saw anyone reading at my home. Still it was there for as long as I can remember. Later it had been put to my shelf. I smiled over what I read. It was interesting but not believable. It couldn't be possible that a big thing like this could be unknown to the scholars of the world who designed a world where earning and making our life comfortable was the purpose of the life. I knew the reality of the world we were living. Even if I couldn't believe the words of the books I was curious to know what lies ahead. I turned the page.
Let suppose a scale running from zero to hundred. Hundred is the place where our soul is eligible to combine with the supreme soul, and zero is where we first born in this world to start our journey. We born and die a number of times in this journey. What would happen if a person for example attain ten percent in a life and then die? When he is reborn he will have to start afresh from zero on the scale? Is everything we do in a lifetime is lost with our death?
If the answer to this would be in affirmative what do you think is the reason of the intelligence level of the children who learn things at an amazing faster rate than those others in the same class listening to the same teacher the same words and reading the same texts. They all are born out of the same fucking process having a mind and every part of the body. Voice of the teacher’s strikes them equally but the level of learning differs. If the physical surroundings are same to all of them what do u think makes difference? Isn't it something lying somewhere inside us that makes difference in how we perceive outer surroundings. 
- The inner thing made difference. I recalled the monkey and the boy incidence when I was coming from grandparents home after holidays. I remembered the first time when I saw her in our clothes. She was so beautiful. I realized the thing happened with me. For a few minutes I forgot everything reading the book. But soon the memories came back. Why these happened to me? I thought. I once again concentrated on the book. I was being curious about where actually I stand in this scale? If there was a way to find out the level at which we stand?
Where a soul stands in the path of meeting the supreme soul can be known by the time difference between the wrong doings of the soul and the punishment it gets for it. Quicker the punishment for the wrong the higher in the scale of zero to hundred it lies. People often think why I am punished for such a small thing in this way while others in the society indulging in great wrongs don't ever get caught or punished and lead a happy life instead. The people on the higher side of the scale are known. They must not deviate from their purpose. For this they must realize that they are departing from their path. Punishment is the way which ensures they realize it. And it should be quick. On the other hand lower side of the scale lays the unknowns. Who had just begun the journey and have to learn a lot of things. There is a time gap between the wrong doings and punishment so that they could live in their fool’s paradise for a while before realizing the right way and purpose of life. This was just like a classroom where in the beginning the elaboration of the subject is necessary. But at the time near our examination the quick revision is enough to recall the same things in short span of time. Hitting the theme directly makes us getting the entire concepts that we used to learn in a week. I was in a different world after finishing. I thought of myself. The punishment I got. I was jealous of the people who did wrong and lived their life easily, while I got punished for that little thing. I didn't know whether the book was correct or incorrect but reading it gave me comfort. I was higher than those mocking over for what happened. I decided to read the entire book in days to come and went to sleep.
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Ten days had passed. I had finished the entire book. A lot of things seemed totally absurd while a few concepts were astonishingly convincing. She used to ignore me whenever we were in front of each other. And nothing hurt me more than that. My life full of happiness had shattered just because of her. In a few days I stopped crying over what happened. Perhaps the mind realized no one is there to see and console me. I got used to of the hateful looks of the teacher, classmates and the family members. I stopped talking to anyone except when they talk to me or I had some work. I relied on yes and no as answers wherever possible apart from the smile. I knew I was higher on the scale from all of them. There's no need to hurt myself by knowing what they think about me. I started spending time reading more and more books. Almost fifteen days had elapsed since that incidence with her uncle. I was sitting on the first bench of my class. While teacher was uttering the words I was thinking of something else looking down sincerely in my books. The bell rang indicating the closure for that day. I waited for everyone to go out of the class as I did every day. I didn't like facing them. I feared what I would say if they ask about anything. I put on my school bag and turned towards the gate. I saw the two faces coming inside. She stood in front of me feet away while her friend remained at the door. She had her eyes fixed to the floor. I was being uncomfortable to have her after so many days. A lot of things happened within these days. I had been far from anyone and spent almost all the time alone. I felt uncomfortable being with her. She opened the right palm and put it in front of me. Those white beautiful palms carried an amazing deal red rose.
"I am so much sorry for what happened. I wanted to talk to you but couldn't because of my sisters." I couldn't believe the thing happening. I didn't know what I have to do. I was losing control over my breath.
"I love you." She said. Those lips had never been so beautiful ever before. I stood rooted seeing her palm, lips and eyes one by one...........

Wednesday, 28 September 2016

Chapter 2 : Like it happened yesterday

It was the end of March. After the extreme coldness of preceding two months the city once again started getting warm. The brightness of sun felt pleasing during these part of year. I was busy reading a story book when the little boy in front of my seat jumped off his seat indicating something outside the window to his father. My eyes naturally also turned to see the thing that filled the boy with excitement. There was a monkey jumping across the endless stream if trees. The expression of joy on the boy's face got me a smile.
"Our reactions and expression does not actually depend on the things going around us. It’s something within us that determines how we are being affected by the same thing in different manners. The jumping of monkey was same for me, the boy and his father. The father remained expression less; I smiled while the boy burst out with joy. The outer scenario was same. That inner thing made difference."
My eyes turned towards watch on my left hand. It was almost eleven of that morning. I looked down the window again. Thousands of feet below there were some tiny houses. The bus was entering the city leaving the calm and soothing sceneries behind it. I was coming from my grandparents place after spending my holidays. Both the cities were separated by a hill. They were connected by cutting and transforming the hill itself into roads. The sharp turns and curves made the journey alone a thrilling experience. The familiar crowd of the city signaled that bus had entered the main city.
It was around eleven thirty when bus stopped and I got off. I bought a bottle of water from a small shop and stepped towards the market area outside the bus stop. I crossed a number of buses until I was in the outermost area of the bus stand. There existed a series of beggars. I moved ahead ignoring their voices and the faces full of expectations. I tried to act like I didn't notice them. I hated the concept that someone's whole life in our society depends on others mercy or kindness. My father had already told me to go to my uncle's shop and he will pick me from there. I turned right towards the market where the shop was. I entered the shop and went straight to my uncle and bent down to touch his feet as a sign to show respect. He blessed me with a long life. I sat down on one of the chairs and after asking about the journey he got engaged l. I focused on the customers in the shop. There was a girl aged around 8-9 years. She was with her father. She had a smiling face. She was happy for what was happening. It was her birthday and her father brought her to buy a dress. or perhaps for buying her happiness. I don't think he would be buying that dress if it makes her sad. His aim was to make her happy in that case and buying dress was just a tool for that. The real transaction there was of happiness painted in the colors of that dress. They thought they were buying that dress, I was seeing they were buying happiness wrapped in that piece of cloth.
After they went we started talking again until a new family entered the shop. A beautiful girl with a man in his thirties and his wife. She was in white top and black jeans. I stated at her all the time she was at shop. She had a good figure and a beautiful face. Perhaps the most beautiful I had ever seen. I wished she could be there for more time so that I could see her beautiful face for some more time. How lucky are some people to see such person every day, to talk to her, to live around her. I felt pity on me. Actually I got jealous of them. I stared her walking down the stairs that connected the entrance to the road and my father getting up the stairs. The man with the girl bid morning to my father. They had some sort of conversation and both moved on their way. I got down touching the feet of my father. He responded with a lovely smile and embraced me. And we moved towards our home. It was two weeks since I met my mother. I was in a hurry to see her.
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I picked my lunchbox from the table and came outside the house where my father was waiting for me to drop me to school. It was the first day of the last year in the school. Just one more year to get out of this boring hell- I thought. I was a studios and quiet type of person. A little above average in studies and a good behavior makes you an acceptable creature in our society with lots of praises wherever you go.
I always had a problem with things happening around me. When the school used to run I wished for holidays, and when we get holidays I wished to be at school. I think this is with all normal students except those lucky ones to have a girlfriend and boyfriend at that age. We were at the school gate in fifteen minutes. I bid goodbye to my father and turn around to enter the school. As I took my first step inside the school my eyes fell on that stunning face. It was the same girl I met at my uncle's shop. She passed a smile as she recognized me. I always abstained from talking people especially when it came to girls. I just gave a similar smile in return and moved towards my class.
I didn't really have any close friends that I was eager to meet after a long holiday. Still we all met and in those silly conversations and studies the day ended. At the end we all gathered for the assembly. We all stand in rows while the principal uttered his bullshit that was in his opinion important enough to waste our time. Meanwhile my eyes found out that beautiful face again and our eyes locked for some seconds. My heart started beating fast and I took my eyes off her. She too started looking somewhere else. I looked her until she placed her eyes back on my face and this kept going on for whole assembly and after that we all moved towards our homes. The first day of school had ended and it was not quite different from all those boring years except for that beautiful face happened to me. My father was waiting outside for me as I crossed the gate with my friends who were laughing on some joke made on the math’s teacher. We moved towards our home with the image of that beautiful smile in my mind.
It was the next day of school. My father had some urgent work to do so he dropped me school a little early. There was no one in the classroom when I entered. I went inside, put my bag on the last bench and turn around to go to the ground where all the students gathered in recess. I started moving towards the gate of our class from where I had to take right and move down the stairs to reach the common ground. It was the last step to cross the gate of classroom and the first step to come in the corridor when someone bumped into me. I slipped a few steps back. Then I turned to see who the person was. And there was she standing. The girl with beautiful face with one of her friends. I knew the face accompanying her. Her friend was a class junior to me. She was standing with her beautiful eyes fixed to ground and I was staring her like I don't believe what's happening. My heart started beating very fast sensing the uncomfortable situation I was facing. She had the most beautiful face that I had ever seen. I was lost in her beauty when her friend who already knew me said - "She is newly admitted to our class and she is a little weak in history. You have just passed the class, if u can give your history notes.........." Her eyes told me that she doesn't mean what she is saying. It was not the actual reason why they were here. It was only a tool to what she actually means. Or perhaps I just wanted it to be so. I couldn't figure out what was the correct picture. My heart had started beating much faster. I had to come out of that situation. I agreed to bring the notes the next day and they moved ahead. After going a couple of steps ahead her friend turned towards me and gave a cunning smile. I smiled back in return. Now what was this smile for? Did that mean that the most beautiful girl of the school had started liking me? No how could that be possible. After all I was a isolated studios guy, nothing else. Why should anyone be interesting in me? But the thing happened moments ago were indicating the impossible. It took a couple of minutes for my heart to go back to normal. Can't it be possible that she just needed the notes and I started making castles in air? I shouldn't make conclusions without knowing the reality- I suggested myself.
Next day I was ready with the history notes. I waited in my class for them to come. It was fourth period but i neither saw the beautiful girl nor her friend even once. The bell rang in a continuous tone indicating that lunch has started. I finished my lunch and went towards the common ground to see them. Finding them gave me comfort. She was with her who nudges her seeing me moving towards them. "I have brought the history notes you have asked.” I was still lost somewhere in her beautiful frame. "Okay, we will come to your class at the end to take it." Her friend told me with the same cunning smile. I had nothing more to say. I turned around and walked towards the corner were my friends were looking at me talking to the new girl who was in everyone's conversation these days. Everyone desired to be with her, to talk to her for she was such a beautiful girl. They kept on teasing me taking her name like she was my girlfriend. School life is amazing where simple talk with any girl could make her your girlfriend in everyone's eye and you can't explain anything to them. The situation got worse when she came to meet me at the end of the class when everyone was leaving and she was coming towards the class. I took the notes out and handed it to her. Her friend was looking at me with her smile. My hands touched hers while giving the notes and the heart beat went faster again. I pulled off my hand. Both the Friends sensed my nervousness and smiled looking each other. Her friend said, - “if there's anything else you want to say her you can say it". I was busy at seeing the beautiful face which evidenced widening of the thin lips resulting in a smile full of shyness. Now what was that? What does that words meant. Is she wanted me to propose her.? Tell her that I loved her? My heart started beating faster.
‘‘No there's nothing else like that.” I stammered with my words. Her friend gave a big smile like she knew what I was feeling. Both said goodbye to me and left smiling. I went towards the place my father was waiting to pick me. The beautiful face turned towards me looking deep inside my eyes like they were saying that they loved me. I turned towards my father and we came home.
I was standing in the common ground in a circle of my classmates with my face towards the two friends standing at a distance. In the conversation about some movie released that week I took out enough time to see her in regular intervals. And Every time our eyes met she used to lower her eyes. I loved those moments most in the whole day. When the bell rang signaling that we had to go now in our classrooms I looked her in eyes continuously until the wall came in between. Our love story will be a great and different one. It's just four days since we first met. The face I hadn't seen ever four days ago had become so important to me. I will have a great love story in which we fell in love in three four days of meeting and never separated then. I will take care of whatever she wants and thus there will be no problem between us. I imagined a perfect love story for me in which there will never be any problems. I smiled feeling myself on the top of happiness.
                                                
###
It was last week of April. The warm winds of summer had started. Usually it was around mid may when our city became too warm to come out in afternoon. But this year the temperature crossed forty five degrees in Last April itself. It was twentieth day of the school. We come to know a lot about each other, thanks to the kind friend of hers who always led us to a talk. If she wouldn't been there we would have spend all those days looking at each other face. She was new in the city and lived here with her uncle. Two daughters of her uncle were also admitted to the school along with her which I came to know later. We looked and smiled at each other all the time we got. Every day she used to come to my class with her friend and we used to talk. Sometimes the elder one of her two sisters also accompanied them. Her friend had asked the same question five times that whether I want to say her something. And as always I denied. I got nervous every time and it ended with her cunning smile as if she knew what was going inside my heart and brain. The whole day had elapsed as it did for last twenty days. We were assembled after the classes in common ground when principal made the announcement- “As per the orders of Deputy Commissioner of our city, keeping in view the extreme warmness of weather our school is going to be closed for summer vacations from tomorrow. And the next class would be sixteenth of the month if June. ‘‘I turned my face from principal towards her and I find those eyes were already on me. The announcement meant we were going to meet the next time after one and half month. I didn't know what to do. Being in assembly meant we were not going back to our classroom. Instead we have to go home directly from there. I was waiting at the gate when she came with her friend. A line of worry was clearly visible on her face too. We were getting separated for the first time after we met. I could remember how hard it was for me to spend my Sundays when school remained close. I had no idea what would happen in one and half months.
I want your contact number” I said. I already put a piece of paper in my upper pocket along with a pen. I took out the paper, put it on my left palm and started writing as she started speaking the digits. I felt it hard to write on that paper. The pen seemed too heavy to me to write anything. I hardly have completed writing one digit when her friend said, “Your hand is shivering badly” I noticed my hand. I didn't know what was happening to me. I was unable to move my hand further.
 “You seem to be nervous. Be comfortable." Her friend added.
It may be so" I didn't have anything else to say apart from this.”  Let me write the number myself" the beautiful lips had stopped telling those digits I was unable to write. She took pen and paper from my hand and started writing herself. She had gone to the fourth digit when her hands got the sand condition as of mine. We could see the shivering hands. Her friend took the paper from her hand, placed it on her shoulder and completed writing the number as she spoke the digits. I took the paper and put it back in my pocket when her friend asked again “do u have to say something else?” This time seriousness took the place of the smile. I could feel what does those beautiful eyes looking towards wanted to hear from me. We were going to be separated for one and half months and this was the time to say those words. My heart beats got faster.
"No there's nothing like that" I said and turned away to go outside where my father was waiting for me. They moved ahead. Sadness has taken place of those beautiful smiles. I felt pity on me that why I couldn't have said her that I love her. She must be happy if I said her. It was what i wanted, it was what she wanted. We moved towards our respective homes.

                                                                  ####
It was about a week when school got closed. I missed her badly. Those small looks, those meeting of eyes and her smile. The beautiful voice if hers. I decided to call her. She had told me that the number was if her uncle. I took my father's mobile phone and dialed the number written on the paper. A manly voice picked up the phone.
 "Hello"
"Hello, can I talk to....  I took her name"
"Who are you?"
"I am her class friend" 
I said. 
He handed over phone to her.
" Hello, who is this" 
"Hi, this is me. How are you?"
"I am fine, why you called me?"
" Do I need a reason to call you?,"
" No, it's not so. But uncle will ask if I talk to you. So don't call me again." 
“Okay, I won't."
" Do you have something else to say?" 
Her soft voice was full of expectations. I knew what I had to say. I felt uncomfortable and answered. “No. There's nothing like that" 
"Okay, bye. Take care. See you again at school" 
"Yes. Bye" It was a few minutes we remained silent over the call when I disconnected it.
                                                                 ###
I got ready for the school. One and half months of separation had passed. Today was the time to see her again. I had waited eagerly for this day. I ended my breakfast and went outside. My father dropped me. From the moment I entered the school my eyes started searching for her. But I couldn't find. It was in the k lunch break when I finally saw her with her friend in the common ground. She was looking gorgeous in the blazing rays of sun. She looked me passed a smile and got busy with her friend. And the day ended. I came home. I thought why she is behaving like this. Everything was good when we got away. Did I make a mistake by not saying her that I love her? There may be the possibility that she found another guy. One and half month is a big time for that when compared to four days of mine. This is the human nature. When we don't get the right explanation or reason of things happening around us. We start making our perception to support the happening of events. And what is the probability of our imaginative perceptions to reach the reality. And there is the place where all misunderstanding starts. So isn't it better always to tell the right reasons to person in front. Or the person should be wise enough to accept that it's not necessary that the perception he makes always be true.
It was the second day and I was dieing to talk to her. To look her the same way as I did before. I went to her in the lunch break where she was standing with her friend. "Can u please excuse  us for a moment. I want to talk her alone." Her friend looked at her face with the same cunning smile and got a little away leaving us alone. The smile gave me some comfort that everything was okay. 
"Come at my classroom when at the end of the day" I said to her. She looked in my eyes and gave a shy smile.
"Okay, I will be there" I got away from there and waited for the classed to end. 
Finally the bell rang and everyone started going out of the class. After everyone had gone I came out to see if they are coming. I saw her coming along with her friend and both the sisters.  The three of them remained outside the class at a distance as they always used to do while she came inside the class. I moved towards a corner and sit on the desk in front while she stood with her back on the wall four feet away the first desk. She looked at me and our eyes met. I looked her at beautiful face. That was most fascinating than ever before. I didn't know what I had to say. I stood in front of the desk and took a few steps towards her. She kept on seeing towards the floor. I took one more step. Her eyes came up and met mine. We kept on seeing each other for a long time until. I got deep inside her beautiful eyes. I got closer to her eyes to see them. It was only a few inches of distance remained between our eyes when her lips touched mine and my eyes got closed. I couldn't feel anything. The right arm got around her neck to hold her tight so that we could feel each other heart beats. The heart beats were the fastest I had ever felt. I didn't know whose heart beats were those. I felt nothingness when mind goes out of any thoughts. The hold of her hands around my back went light when we heard the voice of her sister. She came inside to tell her that her uncle had come to take them home as well as my father. She was surprised and smiling to see us. Shall we? We didn't know what had happened just then. We can't explain why and how that happened. It just happened. We took our bag and came out of class and moved ahead without saying anything to anyone.
                                                    ###
It was the next day. I faced the mysterious smile of her friend the whole day accompanied by the shy lowering of her eyes whenever they met me. The mysterious smile of her friend was like she didn't believe what she heard from her beautiful Friend's sister. The whole day passed like that. Her sisters looked at me like I am an alien and that left me embarrassed over what had happened. We met at the classroom at the end. This time her friend was with her. We talked about the vacations. She went to her dad after the day I called her and came back two days before classes started. We talked about various things before we moved towards our home. Her friend turned and asked "Is there something else you want to say her” "There is nothing like that to say" we both smiled with these and moved ahead.

I was waiting for her to come at the gate of the school the next day. My father dropped me a little early that day as he had some work. I moved a little ahead of the gate with one of my friend when a car stopped in front of us. A guy aged twenty four twenty five cane out of the car. He stood almost half a feet above me and had muscles almost double what I had. He asked me my name. I smiled and said my name. "SLAP" my face almost turned to the other side with his powerful slap. Before I could understand what was happening there were three more on the same side of the face. I didn't even scold before this. All I got was praise and in return I always smiled. This was all I had learnt. "Get inside the car" he roared. Seeing what had happened just I didn't had the gut to say no to him. I got inside. There were two more people in the car - one was driving and one was sitting in his left at front seat. I got in the back seat and the one slapped me got inside and sat with me. The other two were almost thirty years or more and have the physique of men. They all were in anger. I was thankful to the person behind me that at least he stopped hitting me. I was thinking during the way I had always lived in praises and love of elders. How I will be living keeping these slaps in my memory? 
"It was you who called to talk to her that day?"
"Yes" I said. My voice stumbled in fear. I started to have idea what was going around me. I started thinking the thing I had done was wrong. The person driving the car was telling the person besides him that I troubled her, talked to her and so on. I wasn't in a condition to think and analyze what they were talking. I just wanted to come out of this. 
" Have you informed his father to come " the person driving the car asked from the person sitting with me.
" Don't tell him anything. I swear I won't even talk to her ever again. I beg u please forgive me this one time. “I hold his feet with both my hands. Tears came rolling out of my eyes for what I had done. I had a respect of good boy in everyone's eye and if they know these how could I live with that guilt. They will hate me for this. I thought the moments of looking and talking her. Why I had done that - I thought. The car stopped and we all came outside a house. The person beside me took me inside the house. There was a sofa on which he indicated me to sit. The sister who saw us in the class appeared in that room. 
“He is the one?" He asked.
"Yes, He is" she answered looking at my face. 
“Can we go to the school now?" I turned recognizing the beautiful voice. She looked at me then turned away. The younger sister accompanied her. What was the meaning of this? I got puzzled. Three of them went outside the gates and the one who took us here went to drop them school.
I heard the footsteps of someone coming towards the room. It was the same man who come with her at my uncle's shop and talked with my father. I felt comfort at least he would know about me. He came taking fast steps and gave me a powerful slap. After which I couldn't feel anything on the left side of my face. He continued that again and again. I stood at my place by then crying in pain. All I could have thought at that time was to come out of that situation. He went towards the corner of the room and took a wooden stick and came towards me. I shivered in fear. The stock was almost a inch in thickness almost the same size of the one holding it. He came in front of me. Pulled the stick with both the hand taking the other end besides his head and dropped it on my left arm and shoulder with the maximum force he could. I moaned in pain and the second was on my thighs. Third time it was on my right thigh. I fell on the floor with the fourth one on my waist. I continued to beg them to leave me and he continued to beat me. He was abusing me, my dad, and my mom. He kicked my face with his shoes and blood spilled out my nose. I felt very week. My yes began to close down while he continued with legs and sticks. I hold his legs to leave me. My mind couldn't sense anything. I saw my father coming through the gates along with our principal before my eyes closed......

Sunday, 25 September 2016

Chapter 1 : The Monster

It was a large hall. Apart from the main entrance in front it had an additional door that opened in an attached small room. The lights of the room were extraordinary bright to eyes. There was absolutely nothing in the hall except the chains that tied those seven people for last fifteen years. There was a continuous beep sound played at high pitch which could make mad anyone listening to it for long hours. They were almost dead there. They were never fed there except Sundays. The brightness to break the sight, the hunger to break the strength, and the sound to break their thoughts and this continued for last fifteen years. They were captives of a true monster. Suddenly some of the lights got turned off. The irritating sound stopped. And all the seven looked up in fear. They started shivering sensing what was to come. The last time he came there, he beat the old man's daughter for a continuous one and half hours even after she fainted, until he fell himself getting tired. Then he stood again went near the fifth person who was a young one and take knife out of his pocket, hold his right hand which had only two fingers left and chopped off his both fingers half. The captive groaned and he smiled like if gave him pleasure. He turned to the old man who was almost fifty now and ripped off his muscles on chest with his hands only and stared the blood coming out of it like a newly wedded couple watches rain. They all cried, begged for mercy, apologized but nothing could stop him. He spent almost six hours torturing them with his new ideas. He was doing it for last fifteen years. The captives consisted of two men of approx sixty years, their wives. One girl who was the daughter of the old man and was almost thirty five and there were two other one boy and the last one was a girl. The entrance opened and he entered the hall. They all looked towards him as they saw a ghost. They hated that face most in their life. But it was the only thing they have seen in all these years. They didn’t know what day it was, they can’t remember what weather it was, they didn’t know in what year they were living. All they could remember is witnessing the brutality of that monster.

“How are you all my old friends” He asked smiling. All the sevens were praying to the god let me be killed from his hands today so that I don’t have to face him again. He moved towards the young girl, the daughter of the old man who was next to her. He looked her in eyes and roared, “Do u want to be freed from this. Today is the day”   He took a sharp long knife from corner hold the face of her in his left hand and pushed the pointed end of the knife in his neck . Blood spilled out of that. And she groaned like never before. He looked in her eyes like the pain on her face was pleasing him. He pressed the knife harder and she moans louder. He kept on pushing it until the pointed end came out of another side of her neck, until her voice choked in her throat and she fell on the floor. He stood and looked next to her father. His eyes were wet but he was too weak to cry out.  Her mother who was next to him had already fainted. He ignored the old man and moved towards her. She was lying fainted with her back on the floor. He pushed his knife in the middle of her throat as she came back to consciousness with moaning loud. He pulled the knife backwards keeping it inside the muscles cutting out the muscles between her breasts until he reached to the naval and he pulled the knife out of the body.  Then he moved towards the father who was shivering in fear. He had seen that monster for many years but today he was at his peak. He held his head with his right hand and struck it hard on the iron chain that tied him. Blood come out flowing through the crack as he cried out aloud in pain. Leaving him on floor he moved towards his last captive, the young boys who he liked most among all.
 “Do u know what’s your mistake my dear, “He burst out in laughter saying this and next second his face turned to red. His eyes stared him like he would eat him alive. He took the long blade knife and slashed his thigh muscles at three places. In next move he moved the knife across the cut made by him pushing the knife strongly inside the muscles and three slices of his thigh muscles came out if body with his knife. It took almost thirty minutes to him to completely skin his favorite one and he did let him die. He cried, he begged, he pleaded, he moaned, and he like a painter painting with full concentration Ripped of every part of body that he could think could Be took oIt keeping him alive. He unchained the remaining body and took it in the corner of the hall. He brought the jar kept behind the entrance and pour on the body. The loudness in his moan increased.
“You are getting much less for what have done” He shouted in anger and then took lighter out of his pocket. Lit it and threw on him. He dragged the rest four to the burning body and threw them in the fire to burn alive crying and moved towards the edge of the hall.

He entered the small room at the corner of the hall. A thin frame was lying on the floor. The front wall had a screen that showed the view of the hall. The room was absolute white. One cannot see anything but the white, wherever his eyes fall. For the last 15 years it was that entire she had been seeing. She stumbled as he helped to rise her up. She stood a step away in front of him. She had appealing glorious eyes. The perfectly carved face and the beautiful lips. I want your face to be the last thing that I see before my soul separates from my body, so that I may rest in peace for ever. He remembered these words said by him some day. He felt like an entire era has elapsed since then. He came closer to her. He was standing so close that he could feel her breath on his chest. He was staring her eyes like he was trying to find out some answers in them.
"One day when u will be with me I am going to talk to u, and talk to u and talk to u."
"And what if I get tired and fall asleep? "
"I will keep on looking the beautiful face of yours the whole night then, waiting for the moment when these beautiful lips will be in action again. I have missed this voice of yours for 6 years; I will not let u go that easily. "
"You are such a sweetheart." A few hairs blew and come on his face to bring him back in the reality. He stared the beautiful lips a few inches away. He was trying to dissolve the reality into a beautiful illusion. He recalled the oath taken by him on the great ceremony held the day before-  The person who shall commit  mistake shall be guided towards better alternatives towards leading a beautiful life and if someone makes the same mistake again we shall ensure he remains not strong enough to do the mistake third time. None of the wrong doers shall go unpunished to corrupt our society.
“Why did u do all that?"He said breathing heavily as if he was searching for the answer within himself rather than asking her. She could feel his heavy heartbeats as if they were coming from somewhere inside her own body. Her eyes were fixed to the ground. Tears came rolling out of her eyes.
"I will punish everyone who will even try to bring tears into your eyes"
"oh really"
"yes of course, your smile is the reason of my happiness, and I am very selfish person. Whoever will try to take away my happiness will get punished"
"u r  wonderful"  His hands moved on his own towards her to wipe off her tears but he forced it to stop. He tried to hide the tears that start coming out of his eyes too. He wanted to hold her and cry until all the rage in him gets washed away. He wanted to forget everything and start like nothing happened. But he knew this was impossible. There was nothing that could compensate the time that has elapsed. He knew he had to be strong in this situation. But why it was needed. She was all that he always desired of. He has seen the dream of growing old with her. To be near her all the time he could. Now the entire dream he has seen may have come to be true. He could start anew in a beautiful world where he was with her. In a world which he always desired of with the one who meant most to him in that world. He has determined what he has to do.
                                                               ###############
He came out slammed the door, and start moving towards the parking taking fast steps.
He was struggling with his thoughts sitting back in the Car. He pointed towards sector 9. The driver took a left turn and entered the judiciary section of the city. There was not very much crowd in this part of the city when compared with other parts. Though it was built taking the same area as any other society was built in that city, it didn’t consist of anything besides a magnificent symmetrical construction painted in white which symbolized peace. At the middle of the building “The judiciary” was painted in red. In front of the judiciary there was as much space as to accommodate one lacs person. This capacity was to be utilized in the cases of public execution. Parking area was built underground the whole area to make sure there will not be unnecessary occupation of area above. There was a 6 meter wide road which runs straight from the entrance to the building.
 "We are here sir” he looked the driver as if he had waked him up from the beautiful dream.
“We are here” he repeated. He came out and took steps towards the entrance of the judiciary. As he reached near the gate, the four security officers bow down to him simultaneously. He acknowledged the respect shown by them with a fake smile on his face and moved ahead. He moved to the fourth floor which has the chamber of Chief judicial officer which was of the highest rank in the entire judiciary system of any city. When the officer saw him coming towards his chamber, he stood in respect and came himself to receive him on the gate. He smiled and put his right hand on the shoulder of the officer indicating him to sit on his designated place. He remained stood in front of the table.
"Is there something important? You could have summoned me to your home."
“You are the chief judicial officer of this city, my friend. You should not come to home on any common man summoning you”
“You are not a common man, sir” These words of the officer put a smile on his face. How the things had changed in last two decades. He still sometimes found it unbelievable.
“What does section fifty seven of public execution rules stands?” He asked looking down towards the floor. His fingers fiddled with the pen on the table while he sat on the chair in front of the table.
“Whoever shows cruelty towards any person living in the nation or indulge in brutal activities towards them, shall subject to public execution” But why are u asking this at this time?
“Because, I am liable to be executed under that rule. I have killed thirteen people in the most brutal manner I could ever imagine and according to the rules of the land, I must be punished. Announce the whole city to gather in the judiciary compound tomorrow.” The officer looked at him as if he was talking in a language that he was unable to understand. He stood, come down on his knees to show respect and said in a loud voice, “who we are to punish u, who we are to judge u, who we are to punish you. You have created this all, the nation belongs to u. Every person residing in the nation owe his life to you, No one will let this happen. You have devoted all your life to make us prosper and expect us to take your life. What you say is the rule of the land, and what you do is our tradition.”
“I think you are tired sir, you should rest for some time, and we can talk on this matter when you feel good."  
He turned back to come out of the chamber. The peon entered with a glass of water and offered him. He took a sip and gave it back to him. He moved ahead towards the parking. The officer kept on looking him until he moved away of his eyesight. He asked the driver to take him to the hills outside the city. The driver was used to of taking him in that part of the land. The driver started the engine and moved outside the gates while once again he was in his deep thoughts. He saw the roads. Only a few vehicles were running. The entire city was clean. He remembered the populous roads that he moved on in the childhood. The unpleasant sounds of horns that everyone used to blow. The irritating smell of smoke produced by the vehicles. He wanted to forget everything that had happened since then. He wanted to live like time has not passed from those days. He wanted to sleep carefree like those days. But he knew this was not possible. Time is one of the mysterious phenomenons ever created. He wanted to hold it, take it back to those times but he was helpless. He came out of the car as it stopped. He came out, the driver handed him his notepad and pen as he always did when he come here.
 “There’s no need of these. Just go home, I’ll call u when I need u here” having said this he moved towards the woods. This was the place where the journey of his life begun. All the ideas originated here. He used to come out in these woods and sat down for hours whenever he became sad. The silence here was the best he got in his life. He kept on moving farther inside, until he reached the big rock where he generally sit. He moved to its edge and looked down once again. He always thought where these depth ends. The city was built on a hill area and this was the end. One could see nothing but dark looking from the place he stood. He saw on his left side, a pair of pigeon was playing inside their nest. Like there was nothing to worry about. They don’t have to think what the world was, what the others were doing, why the sun was shining over them, and why the people were meeting deaths. The only thing that matters in their life was they. He always wanted to live like that. This place has given him strength, knowledge, ideas Every time he came. He closed his eyes, like he was trying to collect something, to see something which he could not ever see with his eyes open. It was his childhood- she was in front of her with most beautiful face he had ever seen. She was smiling seeing him. A line of happiness moved across his face seeing her smile. He took her in her arms and said – I’ll never let u go. I’ll take care of u whatever comes. I’ll punish them all who try ever to bring tears in your eyes. She held her head on his shoulders. He tightened his arms getting her closer to him. And his took a step ahead. His legs came up in the air and went back down. But there was no rock to support it. He transferred the weight of his body towards the front leg and his body swung in the air to reach the endless depth lying ahead.
 “I want your face to be the last thing which I see when I will be dieing.”
 “I shall love u till my last breath, whatever you do”
 “Memory of u will be the last thing that I will carry when I have to go from this world to another world.”
 “They say love destroys, see the strength of your love, it built a nation”
 “Now you are with me, this is all that I had ever desired out of my life. I won’t let u go this time” his arms got more tightened. And every thought coming in his mind got disappeared……..